break paul sean up

My Dad is dying as I speak.
Heapos;s been sick since Feb.
Heapos;s really gone down the tubes in the past few days though.
I think that he might only have a couple weeks.
I really donapos;t like watching family members or anyone die like this.
Long and lingering.

On Friday, he knew I was there. But he spent more time asleep than awake.
Today, he slept the whole visit. Propped up in bed.
Mouth open, asleep, but eyes only half shut. Eerie...but thatapos;s what happens to one at the end.
When I kissed him good-bye, he opened his eyes up wide, but looked around like he could not see me. So I spoke to him so he would know it was me. And then quick as a wink, he went back to that unconscious place.

Iapos;ve made my peace with him. Over the past few months weapos;ve talked, laughed, reminisced, gotten angry and then apologized to each other. Iapos;ve gotten clear on the man, husband, father, son, grandfather and friend that he is. I understand his deep insecurities in himself and his life. And how he took it out on his children, not on purpose but because he didnapos;t understand and always wanted/expected better than the best from himself and his children.

Heapos;s at his own home. We have hospice.
He has 24 hour caregivers.
His sister has just flown in from Maryland on Friday. They are healing many hurts and wounds too.

Itapos;s all good though. :-)

Itapos;s life as it unfolds.
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