воскресенье, 19 октября 2008 г.

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I might talk myself out of it by tomorrow, and I might not.�Buthellip;I think Irsquo;m going to make an appointment with my flat iron and a pair of scissors.�Irsquo;m ready for a changehellip;but I donrsquo;t really know what I want to do.�Sooohellip;wersquo;ll see what happens, I guess.

Yrsquo;know what?�Forget tomorrowhellip;

There.�I just went and cut off a good two inches.�Itrsquo;s probably not even or anything, but whatever.�Then tomorrow I can figure out what Irsquo;m going to do with the bangs and whatnot.�Irsquo;ll have to wet it down and flat iron it so it lays right and all of that fun stuff.�But itrsquo;s shorter nowhellip;just around my shoulders instead of just past my shoulders.�Irsquo;d willingly go about another half-inch shorter, but no more than that.

Whateverhellip;

With just the two signs at the end of our street and no ad in the paper, we ended up getting rid of a bunch of stuff at the yard sale.�A lot of baby stuff went.�Tons of baby clothes.�My big stroller, the umbrella stroller, both walkers, my Momrsquo;s pack nrsquo; play, her fold-up swing, her infant car seat, some toys, and the old lawn mower among other various things.

Wersquo;re talking about doing another one in the Spring (and remembering to put an ad in the paper the next timehellip;).�Irsquo;m sure in addition to the stuff that was left from this weekend, therersquo;ll be more stuff to add to the sale pile in the Spring.�

And I had this long-ass bitch session written out here a few seconds ago but deleted it.�Itrsquo;s not important.�Of course, there really isnrsquo;t anything I ever put in here of any importance to begin with.�Whateverhellip;

I have decided Irsquo;m giving Andy a few more days to start putting the wheels in motion for our pipe dream, and if he hasnrsquo;t done anything with it, Irsquo;m doing everything myself.�Itrsquo;s probably a stupid idea anyway and I should just come to grips with the fact itrsquo;s not going to happen. �Which kind of sucks.�Whateverhellip;

My husbandrsquo;s birthday is tomorrow, and I donrsquo;t even have a card for him, let alone a gift.�I suck.�Then again, I canrsquo;t recall what he gave me for my birthday, sohellip;�Yeah, I know, thatrsquo;s not the point.�And I will get him a card tomorrow while the boyrsquo;s in school.�Itrsquo;s just the idea that Irsquo;ve been sitting here trying to figure out a Christmas present to send to a relative stranger, yet I have nothing for my husband.�Prioritieshellip;I need them.

Speaking of gift ideas, luckystar37, when we both get a minute, I have an idea I want to run by you.�You might be able to help more than Andy could last night.�He looked at me like I was out of my mind. :)�And I am, buthellip;�Irsquo;ll either message you or email you sometime this weekhellip;then that will all make sense

Anyway, enough with my stupid ramblingshellip;itrsquo;s late and I should be heading to bedhellip;erhellip;yeahhellip;



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Iapos;m not doing very well on the homework list. Okay lets see:
  • hg101 kiasu assignment -- ohh weapos;re halfway there, oh oh, livinapos; on a prayer (i.e. Left with editing, cleaning up our ideas/examples, and conclusion.)
  • hg102 assignment done this morning whee�
  • hg210 assignment -- 2 readings down, 8 to go. Essay still yet to have begun. Uh-oh.
  • hg102 studying for quiz on tuesday -- will be doing after this
  • hmf1 studying for test on wednesday -- erm. I will cram for this on erm. Tuesday. After quiz
  • (not exactly homework but) 2 days left to puasa i.e. Monday �tuesday YAY. Then iapos;ll be free the entire year. WHEE

i realised once you start going for jalan raya with friends in a car as your mode of transport, itapos;s going to be pretty hard diverting back to the public transport. Mhm. And boy did we have fun this year, after 2 freaking years of not planning. 5 is an awesome number to go jalaning with -- cosy and intimate (hm, might be literally and figuratively lol). Letapos;s do it again next year :D�and fa, your birthday celebration was THE�best. With your "omg iapos;m so embarrassed my face is so red" and our hesitancy to give everyone cake. Most of all i think we all had tonnes of fun planning and executing projectFA. Haha :D i know faapos;s celebration was the main thing, but i think quote(s) of the day were sandyapos;s "saya nak pemuda tampan. Dia sombong lagi best" HAHA.�

okay time to study. Donapos;t stress donapos;t stress.

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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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HELLO ALL i have graduated from water to fruits to realll solid food:D
my throat hurts from all the vomiting though. Sheesh. I really hate this la. And i feel soooooo dehydrated even though iapos;m like at my 3rd 1litre bottle of water today. Sian to the max i tell you.
PLUS there was ensemble prac this afternoon which went alright.. BECAUSE WE DID WHITE RABBIT BY JEFFERSON AIRPLANE YAY but that kinda stretched the throat to a point of no return. So my throatapos;s feeling super uncomfortable now.

:(

ANYWAY iapos;ll be moving tmr, literally. For the first time in 10 years:D to jwest st42. Just for a month and a half though.. Cus my place will be under ronovation mmmmmmmm not exactly looking forward to this whole thing but thereapos;s nth i can do la right. Okay and a lizard is TIPTOEING towards me now. Damn brave man this lizard.

okay iapos;m quite behind schedule, gotta finish everythiiiiiiiiiiiiiing up soon OR DIE.

transcription
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Super slow internet for the rest of the month means I can't post as much as I'd like, and only really have access here at work... So if this post seems (more) disjointed (than usual) it's because I'm pretending to work too...


Last night I went to the Night Noodle Markets in Hyde Park that are on for Good Food Month. It was so much fun If you live in Sydney you should go. They're only on this week and next - which doesn't really make sense as they were PACKED last night and it would be great if they extended the run for a month to encourage more people to come spread out over the month, with less time waiting in lines. The lines, were crazy, after about 7pm there was a 1/2 hour wait in most queues - so my advice is, get there early, eat and then spend the rest of the time checking out the entertainment - they had Chinese dragons, noodle making performances, drummers, and a movie playing - not all at once, because that would have been annoying... And I felt soooo sorry for the person who had to be the back half of the Chinese dragons - no fun... Walking around hunched over holding onto the waist of the person who's holding the head - and getting all the glory... Poor things.


After the noodle markets we went for a walk around town, and this morning my feet are killing me - thats what walking all over Sydney in high heels will do to you... I feel like someone has hit my ankles with blocks of wood the way Kathy Bates did in that Stephen King movie when she hobbled the author she loved so that they couldn't escape (what the hell is the name of that movie??)


Speaking of movies, saw Step Brothers the other night - hilarious the Judd/Aptow powerhouse continues to steam on... Will Ferrel co-wrote it as well as acted in it, and he is so funny. It's a little annoying at the beginning, just because its so over the top, but once you accept that its just pure silliness, you will laugh your butt off - funniest movie I've seen in ages. Not a funny movie: In Bruges... It had great reviews and it wasn't baaaaddddd, but it was a case of all the good parts being put in the trailer. So I felt a little ripped off. But still, worth seeing (on DVD). Looking forward to seeing Burn After Reading - I missed the last Cohen Bro's flick No Country for Old Men - everyone told me it was too gruesome, and I'd just had a horrific experience watching Wolf Creek so thought it was best if I gave that one a miss.


Tonight is Frenchie's birthday, and for some god forsaken reason she's having her party 40 minutes out of the city at this little Korean restaurant (which is supposably amazing, so I'm looking forward to eating there). This is kind of convenient for her because she lives out of the city - but only 20 mins, but for the rest of us its going to mean one expensive taxi ride home. I told her I was going to take my car as I didn't want to pay $60 for a taxi and she was not impressed - I think she wants to have a BIG night... So maybe I'll train/bus/bus it - ugh, even the thought of that makes me tired - I'll share a cab with someone... Now, some of the people coming to Frenchie's birthday are not exactly on my xmas card list. There is Two. Who is visiting with Frenchie and her hubby, and apparently he's not my biggest fan either - hey, can't like all the people, all the time. He's from Miami, and is taking a break before starting Grad School in the state next year, and his background is in IT. Oh, and yeah, he knows EVERYTHING. About anything you ever needed to know/had an opinion on. And his opinion is a lot more important than yours. Then there is Jodie and her boyfriend Joe - Jodie is 41 and Joe is 31, Jodie makes oodles of money and flys around the world being super fabulous and Joe is unemployed... Its a funny situation. But Jodie is convinced that Veronica and I are after Joe. It differs, sometimes I'm after him, and sometimes its Veronica. I usually try and stay away from places when I know she's going as I hate seeing them fight - and just to clarify, he's not interested in either one of us, he loves Jodie... Then there's Murray, who is very intense and can only communicate when in the middle of a D M. Last party, he cornered me and held me captive for 20 minutes while he talked about how I just need to visualise my goals and believe in myself and I could do anything. He also writes erotic fiction, has a 19 year old daughter he smokes weed with - so they can get on the same level and communicate apparently - and has just started an art class where the goal is to make a cast of a naked woman and paint it to express your feelings or something. Nice guy, just very intense.


Now that I think about Frenchie's friends, they all have such extreme personalities. And her personality is insanely big too. I think thats why I dread these parties a bit - everyone fighting for attention... But they're always interesting and usually end with someone doing some kind of weird dance/falling over... Ahhh, Frenchie... I do dread the parties, but I love them too...




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четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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This journal, for what I�have planned for it at least, will be a place to put some of my writings whenever I�in fact get them started. I�have trouble getting the apos;oomphapos; to write them, as well as the problem with putting idea to paper, or rather bytes in this manner. Excuse my poor grammar, as I�do not exactly think in the straight lines and structure that are to be associated with the writing formats. Whenever I�do in fact write up one of the things on my mind of writing, feel free to comment. Please keep comments like "That sucks"�or any non-constructive criticism out. If its not helpful criticism I�do not want to hear it, because how else am I�suppose to better myself? Helpful criticism or comments are welcome, even if you did not exactly like it, tell me what I�could do better.
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Todayapos;s show is brought to you by the letter - D.
Ten things that I love. Not in any order.

1. Dangly Earings- You would not believe the amount of dangly earings I�have. Like whole baskets full. I think that just the studs look rediculous.

2. Dancing- Anyone who is reading this blog already knows my love for dancing. Not just bellydancing. But any and ever type. Especially when Performing. ^.^

3. Druming- I�donapos;t care or know that my drumming is "professional". All it does is release a whole bunch of negative energy out of my body and somhow this instrument makes it into a beautiful sound.

4. Dreaming- I�love how bizzare my dreams are.

5. Drinking-I�donapos;t enjoy getting shit faced off of vodka...(kind of makes me a whore)�but I�love getting wine drunk. You know..the happy warm feeling?�Yes...Amazing. Plus itapos;s good for your heart�Only if you drink a glass a day

6. The Dawn- Itapos;s my favorite part of the day. And since Iapos;m an early bird, I�get to see it every morning

7. Da Wade- I�know I�cheated on this one, but come on...can you blame me?�Heapos;s my cuddly hubby

8.Drawing Peopleapos;s Attention- We all know Iapos;m an attention whore as well. But...who isnapos;t...I�love being in the spotlight. In a good way...hehe.

9. Dexodrine- My Medicine for ADHD...makes me focus and not being so like super hyper active.

10. DEMOCRATS- ^.^�Duh.


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Oct. 15. Wed.
its so wierd, the pendelum. Sure, the steady ticktock gets annoying pretty quickly, but i sorta think that subconsciously, that noise, that sound, ir reminds us of death and time and how much time we actually have left until our time of death and departure. And that, is why we despise it so.
but really, its already halfway through october. And school JUST started. I feel like ive just met some people. And... Ive known them for about 2 months now. Wierd...eh?
cant even think of anything to write... Wait. In art, i finally asked jalon if he liked anyone. And.. Oh gosh, i recieved the most absolutely longest uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh of my entire life. Seriously�i mean, he would take a breath, and then start over�and im like... You still didnt answer the question, then he was like uhhhhhhhhh.... Hmm... Uhhhhhhhh. Its....undecided he says after about 2 entire minutes of UHHHHHH-ing.
hmm....now im all akajlfdsljfd. And i want to know who exactly is the reason of his uhhhh-ing-ness. :/
im out dude.
im gone.


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понедельник, 13 октября 2008 г.

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My Dad is dying as I speak.
Heapos;s been sick since Feb.
Heapos;s really gone down the tubes in the past few days though.
I think that he might only have a couple weeks.
I really donapos;t like watching family members or anyone die like this.
Long and lingering.

On Friday, he knew I was there. But he spent more time asleep than awake.
Today, he slept the whole visit. Propped up in bed.
Mouth open, asleep, but eyes only half shut. Eerie...but thatapos;s what happens to one at the end.
When I kissed him good-bye, he opened his eyes up wide, but looked around like he could not see me. So I spoke to him so he would know it was me. And then quick as a wink, he went back to that unconscious place.

Iapos;ve made my peace with him. Over the past few months weapos;ve talked, laughed, reminisced, gotten angry and then apologized to each other. Iapos;ve gotten clear on the man, husband, father, son, grandfather and friend that he is. I understand his deep insecurities in himself and his life. And how he took it out on his children, not on purpose but because he didnapos;t understand and always wanted/expected better than the best from himself and his children.

Heapos;s at his own home. We have hospice.
He has 24 hour caregivers.
His sister has just flown in from Maryland on Friday. They are healing many hurts and wounds too.

Itapos;s all good though. :-)

Itapos;s life as it unfolds.
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